Scott.net – Jesus not coming back by the looks of it” admits Vatican

WaterfordWhispersNews
Fri, 18 Apr 2014 23:55 CDTMap Print
Jesus Not Coming Back!
© Waterford Whisper News

A spokesperson for the Vatican has officially announced today that the second coming of Jesus, the only son of the God, may not happen now after all, but urged followers to still continue with their faith, regardless of the news.

Cardinal Giorgio Salvadore told WWN that this years 1,981st anniversary is to be the Vatican’s last in regards to waiting for the Lord to return to Earth.

“We just feel Jesus is not coming back by the looks of it.” he said. “It’s been ages like. He’s probably flat out doing other really good things for people somewhere else.”

Nearly two thousand years ago, Jesus promised his disciples that he would come again in chapter John 14:1-3 of the bible: “There are many homes up where my Father lives, and I am going to prepare them for your coming. When everything is ready, then I will come and get you, so that you can always be with Me where I am. If this weren’t so, I would tell you plainly”

The Vatican defended Jesus’ broken promise, claiming “he was probably drinking wine” at the time when he made the comments.

“Having the ability to turn water into wine had its ups and its downs.” added Cardinal Salvadore. “We all make promises we can’t keep when we’re drunk. Jesus was no different.”

The church said it will now focus attentions on rebuilding its reputation around the world, but will keep an optimistic mind for the savior’s second coming.

http://www.sott.net/article/277980-Jesus-not-coming-back-by-the-looks-of-it-admits-Vatican

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2 thoughts on “Scott.net – Jesus not coming back by the looks of it” admits Vatican

  1. So, while the Episcopal Church loans out the U.S. National Cathedral for Islamic worship, and Shimon Peres in Israel is all about some “ecumenical” gathering with the Pope and Islamic clerics, the Vatican advises us that the Second Coming has officially been cancelled – due to lack of interest, apparently. Looks like the One World Religion is gelling nicely.
    Hate to tell this guy, but the fact that a Vatican rep would make such a statement just strengthens my faith in God’s Word even more, because obviously, Prophecy is coming along, right on schedule!

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